Credit where credit is due

And a quick note of appreciation for the duo that paved the way for Obama’s historic win – David Palmer and Jack Bauer.

PS. I am currently on the seventh season of The West Wing. The parallels between this season and the 2008 race are simply amazing.

PPS. Watched this show by Veronica Mars creator Rob Thomas called Cupid. As is wont with most good shows, this one was also cancelled very soon. But it’s being resurrected in a new avatar. Fingers crossed.

Found it!

Well, almost… It’s the Hindi version of the Alukkas ad starring Chitrangadha Singh.

Brillia-o-nt

I’m surprised this show even completed Season 1, let alone be renewed for a second one.

Five things I’ll miss about CTU

If the spoilers for Season 7 of 24 are to be believed, the Counter Terrorist Unit (CTU) has been disbanded and the setting of the show has been shifted to Washington DC. Who would have thought that the American government would be so ungrateful to an organisation that has saved their ass so many times. It’s a known fact that since 24 started airing on TV, America hasn’t been hit by the terrorists at home. Will 24 be able to outlive the agency that has become synonymous with it? Only time will tell. As a homage to CTU, I list here five things that I will miss, once CTU is no more.

1. Terrorist attacks on CTU : Jack Bauer might have stopped terrorist attacks in a lot of places, but CTU’s office in LA hasn’t been one of them. CTU is a must-visit spot for terrorists stopping over at LA. This over-used plot device is the default go-to for the writers when they hit a creative brick wall. In fact I am surprised that they managed to stave it off till the fag end of that shitty Season 6.
2. Protocols, parameters and other mumbo jumbo : Raise your hands if you think CTU agents spend too much time “setting up protocols” or “opening up a filter to some satellite.” I mean, I’ve tried to look at all possible definitions for protocol on the net, but still can’t find one that can be “set up” in the short time span afforded by 24. But again, we are willing to give a break to the writers – set up all the protocols you need, just as long as Jack kicks some terrorist ass.
3. Servers : CTU Los Angeles has quite the server farm, and I used to think all those machines shown were the futuristic models, only meant for fictional government organisations like CTU. But I was pleasantly surprised when I got a chance to fiddle with servers such as those in 24 at our institute’s computer centre. Makes me appreciate Chloe even more.
4. Whack-a-mole : It’s hard to recall a season of 24 where CTU wasn’t infiltrated by a mole. They should get Jack to interrogate all new recruits. There is no secret/conspiracy that a gun shot to the thigh won’t bring to light.
5. Eye candy : From Nina Myers to Michelle Dessler, recruiters at CTU have always had a soft spot for the hot babes. Not that anyone’s complaning. Especially not when Kim Bauer herself decided to start fighting terrorists instead of cougars.

If like me, you too are suffering from 24 Withdrawal Syndrome, be sure to check out these inspirational 24 posters here. I personally prefer the ‘Daughter’ one – it is currently my wallpaper.

Teasers

How mighty the fallen are! From his heyday at Roorkee watching high-quality entertainment like The Office and Veronica Mars, “Kalip Superstar” van Kalip has been reduced to taking comfort in the B-grade programming that passes for entertainment in a typical IIT hostel TV room, in this particular case, that of Kumaon hostel in IIT Delhi. Boredom can make people achieve astounding feats and watching pure unadulterated crap on TV for hours together definitely is one that I can proudly claim to have conquered. Why do I do it? Because there really is nothing else to do. And also because the TV room is the one place in the hostel with a cooler and it feels nice to go to sleep on one of the couches there, serenaded by Himesh Reshammiya, Adnan Sami and co. In an effort to document the magnitude of my “velaapan”, I have reviewed the different trailers that I am subjected to in an infinite loop.

The Train: This one intrigues me the most because for two weeks I had been watching the trailers under the impression that the lovely lady on the screen was Geeta Basra. But now I find out that there are two heroines and the one in the “Woh Ajnabee” song might not be her after all. Which is a pity because I had been following news items about her that appeared daily in Delhi Times/HT City with intense curiosity. For example, did you know that she is from Yorkshire, England and that she is an “accomplished” painter? Or that she is uncomfortable doing kissing scenes? So now I watch these trailers very intently, trying to figure out which one is Basra and which is Shiyali Bhagat. By the way, the hero is Emraan Hashmi. But I guess you already picked up on that one from the mention of kissing scenes.

Jhoom Barabar Jhoom: The media is all over the town with news about this movie, calling Amitabh Bacchan’s look in it “Capt. Jack Sparrow inspired.” Oh really? Is that what they call looking gay these days? I also coined another of my empirical laws after watching this one, viz, “In every Yashraj movie there will be at least one song where the main protagonists dance together at a swanky nightclub.”

Life in a Metro, Cheeni Kum: These really piss me off since I have already seen the movies.

MP3 Mera Pehla Pehla Pyaar: For the first time ever, I am not irritated by one of these Bollywood alpha-numeric acronyms. In fact I am slightly amused and even more smitten by the heroine who is very, very cute. It also helps that the title song is eminently listenable. I shudder to think that in my current state of acute boredom, I might even try something as radical as watching this one.

Fool ‘N’ Final: Thank you Lord for granting me the privilege of seeing Guy Ritchie’s Snatch before this movie was even made. The comedy scenes are horrible, the videos of the songs indistinguishable from each other and Mike Tyson makes me want to punch the dude sitting next to me.

Shootout at Lokhandwala: “In the Mumbai, all over India…” Any trailer with just the songs are OK. Just barely OK.

Bombay to Goa: Four B-grade television celebrities hitting the snooze buttons now that their fifteen minutes are up + Vijay Raaz. It’s going to be so funny… NOT!

Aap ka Surroor – The Moviee – A Real Luvv Story: First of all there are no typos in the title of the movie. Trust me, God knows I have watched the trailers a zillion times. At some point of time, you have got to start feeling sorry for Himesh Reshammiya. Even the low-life nitwits here who love to watch the typically vulgar “news reports” on Aaj Tak and ther ilk are making fun of him. Who is going to watch this movie, they ask. I will. The stunt scenes with the autorickshaws are a bit too Bashaesque for me to pass up on. Plus there is that very pertinent question of just how badly this movie will suck. The really sad part though is that a movie like Fool ‘N’ Final will probably make more money simply because of its star cast. Reshammiya meanwhile has to settle for a heroine who looks retarded enough to be his fan in real life.

If any of these have caught your attention tune in immediately to Music India, Yo Music, Etc, B4U, Enter10 or Zee Music. It’s never too late. You could probably find these trailers online. I am unable to find the links for you. The net speed here at IIT Delhi is so slow, I could start streaming a video on Youtube, go to Roorkee, watch the video there, come back and the streaming still wouldn’t be complete. But in these testing and teasing times, I am encouraged by these words that I hear every 3 minutes – “When there is faith, there is no fear.”

PS. The German police want Himesh Reshammiya – dead or alive. We prefer the former.

van Kalip Merit Star: Jack Bauer

It was the summer of 2006. I was curiously browsing through Myspace – just to figure out what all the fuss was about. And I somehow landed on BurgerKing’s page. They were having a promotional offer then. The first two episodes of a series called 24 free for download. Remaining upon payment of a certain sum of money. Jobless as I was at that time and lured by the snazzy ‘Free Download’ image, I did just that. My first impressions weren’t that great, although I was pleasantly surprised to find Elisha Cuthbert on the show. Anyway after watching the mildly interesting first two episodes I figured I didn’t have the patience or the resilience to download the remaining from shady file-hosting sites. Two months later I found the series on our LAN and decided to finish what I had started. And boy, did I enjoy it! It was the beginning of a long love affair. I went on to finish all five season till date in the very same season, even watching the whole of Season 4 within 24 hours. So today I award my Special Merit Star to Jack Bauer, for helping me get through an otherwise boring and uneventful semester.

Of course Jack Bauer has got to be the coolest federal agent around. How many do you know that have hijacked Marine One and kidnapped the President? He has killed a grand total of 161 (and counting) people in a span of 5 days and 20 hours. He has single handedly invaded the embassies of China and Russia and has even spent 18 months in a Chinese prison. And does he have the X-ray vision of Superman or the webslings of Spider-man? No. He does it all with his handy JackSack (aka the world’s deadliest man-purse) and his trusted cellphone. It would then come as no surprise that my first bestselling book is on Jack Bauer himself.

Detractors of the show might be mentioning a crappy sixth season, but give the guy a break. He’s just gotten back from China. And he sure wasn’t vacationing there! Others say that the show is unrealistic and this is not how things work in the real world. But don’t you get it? That’s the whole point of the show. Lord knows how many times I have felt like shouting at the professor during the lecture – “Put down the chalk and step away from the blackboard!”

Special honourable mention: Kim Bauer

Yeah, we love her! Crappy storylines and boyfriends notwithstanding…